


I (Do Not) Feel Hurt

by PuppetMaster55



Series: Shangst Week [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, M/M, Shangst Week 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 20:45:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11321394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuppetMaster55/pseuds/PuppetMaster55
Summary: Lance can't feel the anger and the hurt.Because the universe needed Voltron.





	I (Do Not) Feel Hurt

Lance tried to reconcile his emotions, tried to accept the truth.

Shiro didn't remember him. Shiro didn't remember their time together. Even through everything, Shiro had no recollection of Lance.

Maybe, Lance reasoned, it was because he wasn't very memorable. Maybe he wasn't important to Shiro like Keith was. Maybe that promise meant nothing, and all Lance had ever been was someone for Shiro to hook up with once he got back.

And the worst part of it all, was that he couldn't go up and talk to Shiro about it. He couldn't go and rage at him, or let out his emotions, or anything.

Because Shiro didn't remember.

Because the universe needed Voltron.

Because Lance didn't matter, in the bigger picture. His life and his needs and his desires were eclipsed by others. First by Keith, and again and again by Keith. And now by the Galra, by the need for Voltron. Lance had nothing out here, on Arus.

He'd kept their relationship a secret, both because he knew how it would look on the outside (Lance had still been a student, back then) and because he knew how unbelievable it all sounded. Takashi Shirogane, his hero, his light, his inspiration, showing an interest in _Lance_ of all people? It sounded like a fever dream, one that Lance couldn't believe at times himself, if he hadn't had the little bits of proof – the little napkins Shiro had written notes on, the texts on his phone, the little mementos of the hurried dates they'd gone on – hidden away back in his dorm.

But out here, on Arus, out in the far end of the universe, Lance could almost believe that it really was a dream. Shiro had returned, without memory of Lance, and without any sort of proof – his phone had run out of battery, and Pidge still refused to even consider figuring out a way to charge it – there was no way Shiro would ever believe that they were on their way to becoming a couple.

There was also the chance that Keith would contest Lance's claim, if he ever did say anything. Keith seemed to know everything about Shiro, every little detail about his life, and yet he hadn't known or shown any clue that Shiro had ever been close to Lance.

Lance wanted to cry at the absurdity of it all. He wanted to laugh, wanted to rage, wanted, wanted, wanted.

He wanted to not feel anything.

He wanted Shiro to look at him fondly, softly – wanted Shiro to look at him like before.

He wanted to be pulled close, to be held, to be loved.

He wanted his heart to stop breaking, bit by bit.

Most of all, Lance wanted everything to stop.

The world felt too much, everything was too much – every gesture, every inch of distance, every time Shiro's gaze would glance over him or past him. Too often Shiro would let out a heavy sigh and say his name with none-too-fond exasperation. Too often Shiro would be cordial with him, would be curt, would barely speak to him – to any of them, but in Lance's eyes he felt singled out.

As time went by, Lance watched as Shiro learned more about them. He started opening up, started looking like the person he used to be. Hunk would engage Shiro in long conversations about the Icarus, the ship Shiro had flown to Kerberos. Pidge would sneak Shiro away for long and late studies of info stolen from Galra ships. Keith – Keith seemed to get everything. Shiro gravitated toward Keith, talked to him the most, trained with him the most, and Lance noticed how uncomfortable that made Keith. To be singled out all the time must have been exhausting, but Keith never said a word, not that Lance ever heard, only ever pushing past the discomfort because it was _Shiro_ , back and here and alive.

What hurt the most was that Shiro still seemed to avoid him. They barely exchanged words when they crossed paths, barely did training exercises together, rarely sat near each other.

Lance wanted to hate that, wanted to hate that Shiro was pushing him away, but he couldn't. He had to push down his anger and his hurt.

Because the universe needed Voltron.

 


End file.
